Rango

Dir. Gore Verbinski
Starring. Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Abagail Breslin

In general the Animated Talking Animal Genre makes me want to punch squirrels. Remember Madagascar 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6? The Ant Bully? All of the Ice Ages? Alpha and Omega?Chicken Little? Chicken Run? Over the Hedge? Open Season? Shark Tale? Bolt? Ok, ok I'll stop there. You get my point. For every Finding Nemo, there are at least ten Doogals.

So you can imagine the magnitude of my disdain when I first became aware of Rango, an animated tale of a bunch of walking, talking, gunslinging, bank robbing desert animals living in a Wild West style town. Has Johnny Depp sunk so low? I scoffed. Yet miraculously, and this doesn't happen often (it does), I ended up having to eat my words. Impressively, Rango manages to set itself apart from its CGi abusing counterparts. It does so with an entertaining and solid script, clever jokes, classic western references, and stunning animation.

Rango (Johnny Depp) is the name our leading lizard gives to himself when he is thrown from his comfortable but lonely life as a pet chameleon and thrust into the small desert town of Dirt. It's a classic fish out of water tale, and the high minded dreamer that is Rango suddenly finds himself playing the role of the town's much needed hero. The citizens of Dirt are in danger as their most important commodity, water, is mysteriously running out, and they soon put all their faith in the little lizard to restore their supply and save the town.

Depp along with a supporting cast that includes Isla Fisher, Abigail Breslin, Bill Nighy, and Ray Winstone, manage to completely bring to life this tale of a lovable bunch of mangy desert critters. Their performances, which were acted out in full by the cast, are beautifully captured in the mannerisms of the characters, adding a layer of humanity to the animated animals. The environment is photo-realistic at times and its many different textures are beautifully realized. Bravo to effects company Industrial Light and Magic, who have never done a full length feature film before, for making CGI awe-inspiring again.

Parents, you should beware that some of the jokes in the film may be a little too adult for your youngsters. They're sure to have questions for you ("Mommy, what's fecal matter?"), some of which you may not be keen to answer. But at least you'll be entertained, and if you're worried it might all sail over your tot's tiny head, fear not. There's enough fart jokes thrown in to see your kid through all that talk of existential crises.

Although Rango doesn't quite have the heart of say Finding Nemo, its themes are universal and it's exceptionally clever for a self proclaimed children's film. Finally, someone besides Pixar has figured out how to make a smart and entertaining animated film for audiences of all ages.

Here's What's Coming

2010 may have started out a bit slow (as far as I'm concerned, theaters didn't even open until mid June), but ended up producing a handful of exciting films. What do we have to look forward to this year? I speculate.

5. Bridesmaids
Genre. Comedy
Dir. Paul Feig
Starring. Kristen Wiig, Jon Hamm, Rose Byrne
Release. May 13th(US), June 24th (UK)

We all know that the wedding comedy genre has produced some of the greatest films of all time. The Wedding Planner, My Best Friends Wedding, Runaway Bride, and who could forget that instant classic Bride Wars just to name a few. OK so the genre doesn't have the best reputation; I didn't say I was expecting Citizen Kane here.

To set this film back even further, the plot sounds exactly like that annoying episode of Friends where Rachel and Phoebe fight for the position of Monica's maid of honor. Erg.

But putting all of that animosity aside, I still have hope. Kristen Wiig finally gets a leading lady role, and I'm curious to see if she can shine in the spotlight and not slip into her usual supportive character based role. Her name on the writing credits along with the Freaks and Geeks team up of Apatow (producing) and Feig (directing) makes this a promising prospect. Finally a chick flick worth seeing? Or just another fixture for Sunday afternoons on the Oxygen Network? I'm looking forward to finding out.

4. Rango
Genre. Animation
Dir. Gore Verbinski
Starring. Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Bill Nighy
Release. March 4th (US and UK)

I honestly hadn't given Rango a second thought until I saw the trailer. It was one of those rare times when I got that stirring in my gut which slowly blossomed into excitement and finally manifested as a thought: "Could it be? Something...good?" Johnny Depp's name used to be enough to induce this feeling, but lets face it, he's not carrying the same stigma as of late. It's unfortunate, but happens to the best of us.

Anyway, I think this could be more than a sort of Western version of the Ice Age franchise. The character design is truly striking and like nothing I've seen before (it's ILM's first animated feature). I was even more intrigued when I saw a featurette showing how closely the animation was based on actual performances by the actors and without the use of motion capture. Nickelodeon hasn't put out a good film since Good Burger (or before it). Do I smell...redemption?

3. The Way Back
Genre. Drama
Dir. Peter Weir
Starring. Jim Sturgess, Colin Farrell, Ed Harris
Release. Jan 21st (US), Dec 26th 2010 (UK)

Russia, prison break, epic landscapes, Colin Farrell, and lots and lots of walking. This could be a giant miss. There are few things worse in this world than a film that tries too hard to be epic, but somehow fails on all fronts (remember the travesty that was Troy? Oh, and Tron, now that I think of it). But this film has something they didn't: Mr. Weir. I believe in you Peter.

2. The Tree of Life
Genre. Drama
Dir. Terrence Malick
Starring. Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain
Release. May 27th (US), Unannounced (UK)

After watching the trailer a few times, reading several synopses, and consulting with a magic eight ball, I still have no idea what this film is about. Maybe it's something about how a man reflects on his opposing relationships with his mother and father in order to better define himself. Or maybe it's about an astronaut that falls into the ocean, has a baby, plants a tree, has his house flooded, goes rock climbing, goes to church, goes to the beach with a bunch of people in suits, and then visits Niagara Falls. We just don't know. But whatever it is, I'm up for it.



1. Hanna
Genre. Thriller
Dir. Joe Wright
Starring. Saoirse Ronan, Cate Blanchett, Eric Bana
Release. April 8th (US & UK)

Ok, who did the titles for this trailer? Seriously who did them? How dare you ruin this for me.

The Tourist

Dir. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck
Starring. Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany

A twist ending can either make or break a film. Back when the device was a novelty there was nothing better. The superiority one felt speaking to people who hadn't yet seen the film was absolutely addictive. "You'll never guess the ending," we'd say, "I figured it out within the first nanosecond of the opening credits, but you'll never guess it."

By now, audiences have seen it all. We know all the possible twists that are out there, so any attempt at one just seems like a cheap cop out. It's rare for us to be at all shocked anymore. That's why these days the twist ending is further down on the Hollywood blacklist than Mel Gibson.

Unfortunately, Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck writer/director of thoughtlessly self-indulgent wannabe action thriller, The Tourist, doesn't seem to have received the memo. He has given us an ending so bad, the first ever film audience would not even have been shocked by it. Either he made the film for the dumbest audience ever, or he was so smart he had the foresight to know that in this day and age, audiences are so jaded we could never possibly suspect the ending that is most painfully obvious to us.

I'm not going to spell it out for you because that's one of the great bylaws of my trade (and because a retarded monkey could figure it out just by watching the trailer). I shall do my best to keep you in suspense. In short, the story is that of Elise Ward (Angelina Jolie), a beautiful woman being tailed by police who are after her man for stealing loads of money. She receives a mysterious letter from said mysterious man instructing her to fool the police into thinking another man is him. She picks the most boring character Johnny Depp has ever played, Frank Tupelo. Although the officials soon realize Frank is not the man they are after, some thugs who work for the giant boil in the middle of Steven Berkoff's forehead still think he is and come after him, thus entwining the innocent tourist in an only mildly threatening game of cat and mouse; one where the cat doesn't seem to be all that bothered and the audience isn't all that bothered about whether or not the mouse gets away.

The chemistry between Jolie and Depp is about the same as that of a used q-tip and a ball of lint. It's almost as if they were each acting in a completely different film and their scenes were accidentally cut together without them ever having been in the same room together. Actually, that makes sense. Yes, yes, that must be what happened.

To be fair, I can't think of any actors who could have breathed life into the script which was so dead it actually died, came back to life as a zombie, and then was beaten to death again with a shovel. The story is completely void of anything even remotely compelling. Yet, we want so desperately to be entertained our brains force us into laughing at things that under normal circumstances wouldn't even bring us to waste the energy on an ironic or mildly amused eye roll. So there's that; a few moments of painful artificial laughter that barely staves off the deep depression that would set in if we really accepted the implications of a society that allows a film like this to be made. I would rather be stabbed in the eye repeatedly by Angelina Jolie's razor sharp shoulder blades than sit through that film again.

And if the first 90 minutes weren't bad enough, the ending is so bad, it felt like a slap in the face. So I've written a better one. Picture this: the final scene of the film is coming to an end. Depp and Jolie are smiling at each other in an annoyingly self satisfied way as everything seemingly has ended perfectly. But wait! Suddenly Johnny Depp turns to screen and chuckles. "Just kidding," he says. Then he goes on to explain that the film we've just seen was a fake made by a bunch of poorly designed robots starring not him, but a CGI version of him created by Brendan Fraser in a Mo Cap suit. Furthermore, it turns out Angelina Jolie hasn't in fact turned into Skeletor, as we have been lead to believe, but is actually just played by Terri Hatcher in a mask. And then everyone in the audience wins a prize for having been able to sit through the film. Then they both high five which ends in a freeze frame and cuts to black. Roll Credits. You can have it Hollywood, it's my gift to you.

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